Telesales agent getting the customer's credit card info: Agent: Can I have your expiration date, sir? Customer: My what?!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Telesales agent giving promo spiels: Agent: You called at the right time, ma'am. We have a lot of freebies to give away, such as free installation, free equipment, and free DVD player. That's a great offer, di ba? Customer: huh?! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - Agent verifying info from the customer: Agent: Is that a P for Ping-Pong? Customer: No, it's B. Agent: Oh, B, like Bing-Bong... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Customer trying to return a defective product: Customer: I need to return this defective sauna belt that you delivered yesterday. Agent: For that concern, you can call our customer service at www.picustomerservi ce.com. Customer: Call where??!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- -------- Agent answering a call: Agent: Thank you for calling Dish Network Department, my name is Vince..... (sees that the number called by customer is for a different client— a DirecTV dealer). Customer: So, I called the wrong number then? Agent: Let me transfer you to DirecTV please don't go.... (puts the customer on hold, and then)... Thank you for calling DirecTV Department, my name is Vince... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent wrapping up the sale: Agent: Our INSTALLATORS will contact you within the next 24 hours to verify your installation schedules... Customer: Uhm.... say what, now. Who's gonna call me? Agent: The INSTALLATORS, sir. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent getting coupon code from customer: Agent: Can I ask for the coupon code? It's a bunch of letters. Customers: Like ABCs? Agent: Yes. Customer: Ok. ABCDEFG.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent giving the customer service web address: Agent: It's P- as in Papa, I- as in India, C- as in costume, U- as in you, S- as in Sam, T- as in Tango, O.... Oscar...V- for Voy... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent wrapping up the sale, trying to give the account info to customer: Agent: I will now be giving you your account number and order confirmation number, do you have a PEN and BALLPEN with you? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent trying to create urgency over the available promotion: Agent: Are you sure you don't want to take advantage of me? Customer: Say, what? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent trying to upsell a warranty: Agent: Here's an example: In California, a plane crashed into a customer's house, their dish was replaced, no questions asked! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent trying to upsell a TiVo to customer: Agent: With a TiVo, you can do this and that, and you know, pretty much anything under the sun. Isn't that a great offer? Customer: What? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent was asking the customer about the cost of his cable service: Agent: How much are you paying with your current provider? Customer: Well, I'm only paying $25.00 (--which is way cheaper than what the agent was offering) Agent: (Surprised) Shet, magkano??!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent getting customer's address: Agent: Can I have your address, please? Customer: It's twenyfurfif- ysavan newyaorkgh road (2457 New York Road) Agent: Can you repeat that ulit? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent asking the customer to be put on hold: Tech Agent: Sir, Can I hold you for just a minute? Customer: Sure, baby, go ahead! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent verifying correct spelling: Agent: Is that a B as in boy, or a B as in Bravo? Customer: ...uhmmm... how about B as in Boy? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Technical Agent giving customer support: Agent: Is the ethernet cord connected? Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with Alabama accent) Agent: Yung yellow cord kung nakakabit ba! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent from a local phone company entertaining a Visayan customer: Customer: hillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin?? Agent: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone? Customer: Hende naman. Agent: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula? Customer: Ang alen? Agent: Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone? Customer: Nagre-reng naman ah?! Agent: Di ba sabi mo walang ring? Customer: Hende! yong BELL! yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!! Agent: aahhh... yung BILL?! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Technical Agent: To help you out with your concern, ma'am, let me just pull out my tool here, ok? (referring to a computer program used in call centers to address the customer's concerns) Customer: Pull out your what now? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Tech Support: Okay, Bob, just type P on your keyboard? Customer: What? Could you repeat that? Tech Support: 'P' on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: No way. I'm not going to do that. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent: Sir, that is C for Cubao, Q for Quiapo..... Customer: What is that?! I dont understand. I don't want to talk to you. Agent: Who do you want to talk to? Customer: I want to talk to the highest person. Agent: My supervisor is not available as of the moment sir. Customer: I said, I want to talk to the highest person. Agent: Ok, you want to talk to the highest person? Customer: Yes! Agent: Do you want to talk to God? Customer: what the f***! I'd rather talk to you. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Irate Customer: F***k you! Tech Support: Sir, we're not allowed to say "F***k you!" here... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent: It's C as in CAT. Customer: what? Agent: C as in CAT. C-A-T as in meow meow... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent: Thank you for calling us, this is Candy, how may I help you? Customer: What did you say your name was... Mandy? Agent: No, sir, it's Candy. Customer: Sorry, i can't hear ya... didja say Mandy? Agent: It's Candy sir... Candy... as in Storck! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf? Customer (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra) Oh, Gebra! like the one in the Goo?! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent: Yeah, sir....hello sir... are you there? Customer: Yes, sorry. I'm still there. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent: Ok, sir... do u have a PEN and a PENCIL ready? Customer: What?!! Agent: Oh, Im sorry, sir... i mean, do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Agent: I'd like to speak with Billy Thompson please? Contact: He's not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail? Agent: Sure, SIGE.. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- Tech support: We're going to perform a check disk to see if your hard drive has errors in it. Please type in C-H-K-D-S-K. Customer: What is that again? Tech Support: C-H-K-D-S-K. .. that is... C as in Charlie... H as in Harley... K as in Karly.. D as in Darley... S as in Sarley... and K as in Karly... got it?